butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
