last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
