Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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