i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
