Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
