i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
