There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
