I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
