She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
