I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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