Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize