I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
