this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
