come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
