i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
