How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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