dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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