Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
