shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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