who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
