She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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