Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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