I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
