Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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