I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I checked into jail on foursquare
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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