Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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