omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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