I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
