I puked a lego.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
