life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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