Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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