I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
