Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
