You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
