Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
