Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
