Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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