Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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