She went from zero to smokin in five shots
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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