How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
