i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
