Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
