Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
