It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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