jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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