Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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