You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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