I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
