Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
