you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you win again, gameday.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
