At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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