so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize