I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just fell off a train. Bad.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize
