you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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