ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
honey bunches of taint.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
