Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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