11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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