Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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