fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
