Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate