the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I wish I only lived at night.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.