i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.