he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!