Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?

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(636): I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me? http://tfl.nu/6q93

Replies (7) Good night (1318) Bad night (508)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..

(609): View more from New Jersey

AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!

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(609): Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?! (267): This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room.. (609): AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?! http://tfl.nu/dtle

Replies (37) Good night (759) Bad night (3579)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.

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(603): he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me. http://tfl.nu/oqud

Replies (79) Good night (865) Bad night (6327)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.

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(302): Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up. http://tfl.nu/hjt8

Replies (27) Good night (6001) Bad night (1140)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.

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(732): I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something. http://tfl.nu/rxn8

Replies (22) Good night (4122) Bad night (1500)
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(716): View more from New York

Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?

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(716): Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed? http://tfl.nu/24fj

Replies (28) Good night (6494) Bad night (1402)
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(518): View more from New York

I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.

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(518): I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being. http://tfl.nu/lv2s

Replies (13) Good night (8151) Bad night (1241)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster

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(870): We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster http://tfl.nu/c1fy

Replies (3) Good night (787) Bad night (1741)
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(970): View more from Colorado

It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn

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(970): It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn http://tfl.nu/hfv3

Replies (17) Good night (1175) Bad night (3379)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.

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(303): I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume. http://tfl.nu/tvs1

Replies (7) Good night (2620) Bad night (929)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.

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(314): I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise. http://tfl.nu/47tp

Replies (13) Good night (2030) Bad night (460)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.

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(606): I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail. http://tfl.nu/b2ml

Replies (11) Good night (477) Bad night (4078)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.

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(720): Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something. http://tfl.nu/z9g9

Replies (18) Good night (942) Bad night (2254)
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(817): View more from Texas

Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."

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(817): Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window." http://tfl.nu/43ug

Replies (10) Good night (1972) Bad night (447)
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(706): View more from Georgia

To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.

(1-706): View more from Georgia

You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.

(706): View more from Georgia

Touche.

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(706): To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid. (1-706): You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man. (706): Touche. http://tfl.nu/xj0m

Replies (4) Good night (939) Bad night (373)

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