Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
