why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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