My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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