i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
