i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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