okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
